Say you Love Me
by The Hufflepuff Marauder
Summary: Lily has broken up with Martin. He leaves her for reasons unknown to her, then Lily gets a letter telling her she is being made Head Girl and is rather shocked to learn that James Potter is Head Boy. He is wrapped up in his sweet, loyal and fun Hufflepuff girlfriend when Lily says she is starting to have mixed feelings about him... SBOC RLOC LJ JOC LOC Mature themes in later chap


**AN: Lily has broken up with her Slytherin boyfriend but James is no longer on the market, and what's worse is Lily has started to have feelings for him...**

 **SIXTH YEAR**

The Hufflepuff common room was busy and 16-year-old Paige Howlett was helping arrange the text books into alphabetical order. The end of the school year was fast approaching, with barely three weeks left Paige was making it her little mission to assist the house elves starting by tidying the bookshelves in the common room. Her attitude towards rules was still an unhealthy one, her antics in her first year had left her well and truly in no doubt where her path lay. And her 'so called father' was no longer of such great importance to her.

'Granger, Harry,' she muttered to herself thumbing the spines carefully and began to shuffle them up and down on the shelves. Surrounded by a pile of books to categorize Paige was fully focused and would not let anything distract her.

The other students were milling around, some third years were playing an enticing game of exploding snap and the group of sixth year girls were in another corner giggling, painting their nails and plaiting their hair. Paige sometimes wondered if she was a normal girl looking down at her nails as she pushed up the books with her left hand, she had never even considered buying a pot of nail varnish let alone applying it. She thought it strange that you would want to even paint parts of your body.

'Hey Paige,' Adam Cross was a fellow sixth year and he was wearing his bright canary yellow Hufflepuff quidditch robes, he was a chaser on the team and had been since he tried out successfully in his third year. 'What are you doing?' he said leaning against the shelves

'Tidying, seeing as nobody else does it,'

'The reason nobody does it Paige is we have house elves for that?'

'I am sure the house elves will appreciate my efforts,' Paige said coolly picking up another pile of books and reading the spines.

'Are you going to come up to the Gryffindor common room, they are throwing a birthday party for Erin Jackson- her boyfriend Sirius Black he's managed to get some firewhisky,' Adam winked his bright blue eyes full of unaltered surprise 'could be fun Paige, you need to loosen up,'

Paige stopped, climbing down from the top shelf she faced him fully.

'I do not need to loosen up, and especially around "That lot" frankly, especially Rotter' Paige said emphasising her disapproval at "that lot".

Adam rolled his eyes, his arms firmly folded across his broad chest he looked at her disbelievingly. They had been friends since their first day at Hogwarts when Paige had accidentally knocked over his cauldron in Potions class. They had laughed about it afterwards during detention, not the most perfect start to a friendship but they had been inseparable ever since.

'Paige Howlett- you are coming to the party.'

'And you're going to make me how' Paige commented dryly

'You forget Miss Howlett, I'm a wizard,'

So it was with great reluctance Paige Howlett was being pulled along to the last place she really ever wanted to be, a big room full of people she didn't really know, only knew by sight and would be forced to interact with them on some level. A level she was never going to be comfortable with, but Adam was determined he was not going in alone.

'What is the worst that can happen?'

Paige bit her lip and laughed hollowly

'Gee- firewhisky and a room of Gryffindor and Hufflepuff sixth years?' Paige said sarcastically as they found themselves outside of the portrait of the fat lady. Even she was dressed in her finest robes, velvet robes and a bright red and gold tiara perched lopsidedly on her head.

'Pugwudgie,' Adam said clearly and the portrait swung open. There was a loud humble of chatter filtering down the stairs as they walked upwards it grew steadily louder. Following Adam inside to the big common room Paige ensured she stayed in his shadow.

After a few minutes of searching the common room Adam found them two seats in a small cluster by the window with some other fellow Hufflepuffs, Victoria and Ana Lord who were none-identical twins.

Paige sat down, watching the other students helping themselves to drinks and some were carrying plates of unusual looking food. Over in the centre of the room was the birthday girl, Erin Jackson a raven haired half irish, half muggle witch who was currently dating Sirius Black. She was being poured drinks of a green and purple mixture by her friends, Lily Evans and Kirsty Dawson.

Across from where she was sat Paige saw out of the corner of her eye James Potter wearing his Gryffindor quidditch robes, he was scribbling notes on parchment and then turned away so Paige couldn't see his face. Then he was striding across the room to Adam carrying the rolled up parchment in one hand and a drink in the other.

Placing the parchment down he said

'That is the next game plan of Slytherin,' he padded down the parchment 'you didn't get it from me, Cross,'

'Cheers Potter,' he shook James Potter's hand strongly, Paige scoffed as they shook hands.

'I'm sorry, is something funny?' James said turning to face Paige who felt herself turning red

'No, just laughing to myself,' she mumbled

'Sign of madness that,' James commented eyeing Paige

'She's a little crazy,' Adam confirmed, Paige elbowed him. 'Sorry, and violent in extreme cases'

'Right…' James said slowly 'anyway have fun guys, I've gotta go try and give the birthday girl a kiss without Sirius looking,'

The rainbow coloured bedspread floated over the linen bed sheets in the sixth year girls' dormitory high in Gryffindor Tower. Erin Jackson was sleeping but Lily and Kirsty were busy changing the bed sheets and cleaning up from the night before.

'Did you see James talking to that girl last night, Paige from Hufflepuff?' Kirsty pointed out as they tucked in her brightly coloured rainbow throw into her duvet.

'Didn't notice,' Lily voiced with a less than carefree tone.

'Lils,' Kirsty said slowly, her sassy attitude and glare boring into Lily

'Hey, he can talk to who he wants. As long as he is not bothering me Kirst – I am happy,' Lily said pushing pillows back onto her friends bed.

'He noticed you though, talking to that Slytherin 7th year at dinner last night,' Kirsty told her. Lily blushed slightly, she turned away to her own four poster bed and began stripping it, all the time Erin was lightly snoring from the other end of the room.

'He was talking to me like a person K-bear. He's nice, and he's read all CS Lewis books, all 7!'

'And a name?' Kirsty said her hands on her hips eyebrows raised.

Lily caught herself giggling, she stopped and shook herself.

'Martin Harding,' Lily replied

The aftermath of Erin Jackson's birthday party was not as bad as the usual Gryffindor parties of past glories and James Potter and Sirius Black were in the process of clearing away trays, bottles and glasses from the Gryffindor common room. Remus Lupin was still sleeping with Peter Pettigrew apparently absent for a family emergency.

'I think Erin enjoyed herself last night, don't think you have any worries there Padders. No one has seen her since she went to bed at 4 am this morning.' James explained opening up the black sack to allow Sirius to chuck in more empty cups.

'It had to be a good one Prongs, the first of us lot to turn 17. What were you up to last night, you didn't seem to busy. You left Lily alone- you going off your little beguiled red headed muggleborn Prongsie,' Sirius teased, pausing in their activities.

James groaned he stretched and yawned

'She was talking to someone else,'

'Ohhhhh,' Sirius said pulling a face 'who?'

James shrugged

'That Slytherin, you know the Arithmancy guy. Martin something,'

Sirius chuckled

'Oh Prongs, if she's gonna go for brains over brawn then you need to stick to your other strengths,'

'Hey I spoke to a girl last night, okay?' James said defensively as they moved around the common room ridding the place of detritus 'even if she was a Hufflepuff,'

'Wow, a Hufflepuff. Prongs you know they are just witches too'

'Oh yeah and if I brought a Slytherin girl up here I'm sure you'd approve,' James said sarcastically deliberately pointing out Sirius flawed logic and making slightly hurt references to Lily's sudden interest in a Slytherin wizard.

The common room was almost presentable and back to normal with James and Sirius filling up the black sacks. The heady hazy smell of stale fire whisky and sausage rolls was still lingering when they had cleared away the rubbish. Lily emerged from the staircase, wrinkling her nose with Kristy following closely behind. She sighed and with a swish of her wand said

'Floris Furor'

And a light floral smell quickly replaced the stale lingering smell.

'Is Erin still sleeping?' Sirius asked, flicking his eyes to his wristwatch then looking at Lily who nodded and closed her eyes reproachfully. Lily and Kirsty were making their way down for breakfast.

'You pooped our little Irish witch out Sirius,' Kirsty surmised sniffing in the now cleaner air 'the firewhisky was a bit much, don't you think?'

'And the prosecco on tap' Sirius retorted pointing a finger at the both of them 'that had nothing to do with you two?'

Lily and Kirsty exchanged slightly guilty glances.

'We monitored it,' Kirsty said sassily 'we didn't want it not to be shared properly,'

James was busily pushing the black sacks into the small hole in the wall by the fireplace where the rubbish was placed. Lily wandered over to him leaving Kirsty to talk to Sirius, her hands stroking the back of the couch by the fireplace as she walked.

'Did you have a good time last night?'

James shrugged

'Saw you talking to Martin,'

Lily stiffened.

'And that's a problem?' Lily said flatly, her arms folded. James slammed the garbage chute shut and turned to face her.

'No problem, why would it be?' he replied with an air of carelessness as he faced Lily

Lily stepped back, she felt ruffled like James was staring right through her rather than at her.

'You're right,' she said quickly 'it isn't' and she turned on her heel glancing at Kirsty she nodded her head pointedly to the common room door and the two of them meandered down to the great hall for breakfast.

 **Chapter 19: Paige and James, Lily and Martin**

 **SEVENTH YEAR**

It was the end of the summer holidays and 17-year-old Lily had just returned from her holiday in the south of France. For the last two weeks Lily had been thinking of her loving, caring intelligent and handsome boyfriend who had shown her a different side to her life. He took her out, they went dancing together- even stayed the night in Diagon Alley together. His brown hair matched his chocolate brown eyes like Cadbury Milk buttons hiding behind his glasses. He always preferred to wear muggle clothing, he had a thing for a few muggle rock bands. Lily loved him with all her heart, she never knew you could love someone to the point where they became your whole world and you forgot the one you once belonged to.

She had barely had time to unpack when she was too excited to speak to him and decided to ring Martin, her boyfriend of 14 months and tell him the good news that she was back and they should meet up- go out even. But the phone call took a much more different tone.

'What do you mean you're coming over,' Lily said in between tears she didn't think she could cry.

'Lily I'm coming, right now.' Martin said crossly, an unusual firmness in his voice.

'Why, what's the point. You're the one who doesn't want to be with me,' Lily sobbed into the phone.

'Let's just talk,' Martin said his voice shaking 'we need to talk face to face, letters, talking, won't sort this out this time,'

Lily cried harder, pacing her bedroom her phone glued to her ear.

'Please Martin don't,'

'Lily,' he shouted 'I am coming. Now.'

A few minutes later Martin Harding was stood at her bedroom door, he himself looked upset but nowhere nearly as upset as Lily.

'Lily, we can talk properly now,' he came into her bedroom shutting the door 'come on,'

'Talk properly?' Lily said collapsing onto the bottom of her bed.

'The pressure Lily, I can't manage it,' Martin admitted 'we've got so much going on- final exams- you applying for Stonehenge and-'

If Lily wasn't head over heels in love with him she would've hit him so hard, but this was Martin. She couldn't do it, she felt weak for crying more but didn't want to comprehend what he was saying. She could never hurt Martin; not like he was hurting her now which made her feel ten times worse.

'Do what?' Lily mumbled

'We should both find other things; you know see the world. Are we not too young to be serious?' Martin explained sitting on the bed next to her

'I didn't think we were,' Lily said, mixed emotions flooding through her mind.

'Look we could perhaps just ease out of this, you know,'

Lily looked at him sceptically, 'ease out of this?'

'Lily, I don't want to hurt you,'

'Fine fucking job doing that,' she growled at him between tears

'You're being unreasonably unfair Lily,' Martin said crossly 'I am trying to be nice about this, I need some of my space back'

'No, no why are you saying this? We live forty miles apart as it is?'

'You know what I mean Lily, with everything going on. We, me you we need to explore the world,'

Whatever world Martin Harding wanted to explore Lily Evans was sure as hell not going to be a part of it anymore, that he was making evidently clear the more he chattered away. He was squirming uncomfortably.

'And what was so wrong, so wrong,' Lily screamed through tears 'with seeing the world together, like you promise me, 'she screeched 'Is there somebody else?' Lily asked shyly, not wanting an answer but in the pit of her stomach she was convinced there had to be a reason as to why he wanted to leave her. Even if it was another woman, at least it was a better excuse than 'explore the world' as he so delicately put it.

'No, I mean, of course not.' Martin said quickly 'you're being daft, I just thing we need to take a sometime. This is killing me Lily, please,'

Lily looked at him, he was now standing in front of her, he looked ashen faced and unhappy.

He took his glasses off, rubbing his face he said

'I still love you Lily, but we can't be together anymore,'

'So that's it, good, we are over then. Nothing. Done.' Lily said firmly, fighting back more waves of tears. Martin sat next to her, looking at her but Lily wouldn't face him, she stared hard at her hands closing her eyes every few seconds, as if waiting to wake up from a dream, a nightmare even.

'We can still be friends, it might be hard, but please Lily I want you in my life,'

'Just not as your wife,' she retorted angrily, her eyes focusing on the small diamond clustered ring on her left hand

'We're too young damn it,' Martin said jumping off the bed 'Lily please you're making this harder than it has to be,'

'Well I'm glad one of us is making it harder,' Lily replied sarcastically

'See there, that. You're so infuriating, have been for weeks. Whatever I do, say it's always wrong. I don't know what you want anymore,' Martin said pointing at her and starting to pace her small bedroom.

'I want you, I've only ever wanted you from the second you kissed me underneath that staircase,' Lily said disbelievingly, 'you're all I have Martin,'

The overwhelming compulsion to comfort her was riding through Martin uncontrollably but he couldn't do this anymore, this was what was best for him, her for both of them. He hated seeing her cry, ever since they had met all those years ago on the train to Hogwarts and she had misplaced her cat Misty on the train. Her tears caused him pain. Always had done, always would.

'You have so much more than me, Lily you're special and deserve someone who will give you what I can't'

'I deserve you Martin, I don't give a shit about NEWT's, Hogwarts that damn WAR! I care about us, about our,' Lily stopped herself short. She closed her eyes, Martin could see her thinking, her face softened. But tears were still pouring from her.

'You will be fine without me Lily,' he sniffed 'your life can still go on,'

'You don't know me at all, how could I possibly be okay without you when we were going to start our life together' Lily sobbed harder, she looked at him for a reaction and saw very little and she changed tack looking angrily, hurt at him 'maybe you're right, we just don't work anymore,'

Martin's face tightened, he stiffened at her sudden resolute resolve, her tears seemed to have stopped. She looked at the clock behind him, all she wanted right now was for Martin Harding to get out, leave her alone. She wanted him to be anywhere else in the world than in her bedroom.

'Right, I should get going, Lily I didn't want to do it like this. I really am trying here, I don't want you to be hurt, please keep the ring' he added lifting her hand, he kissed her ring finger 'it is only for you,'

'Ok, I don't know what I will do with it, but I sure as hell won't be wearing it,' she said scathingly, curtly wiping tears from her face, 'I will walk you down and out. Otherwise mum will ask you to stay for tea, and we both don't want that do we?'

Martin shook his head, sighing he agreed.

'I will always, always love you Lily,' Martin said starting to cry 'but I have to do this, for us-'

'If you were doing it for us you would find some other way, Martin' she paused 'some other way for us to be together, you would fight,'

'Lily, there's nothing left to say now, please. We are dragging this out,'

'Fine,' Lily swallowed back the next wave of tears and standing up she brushed herself off and added in a scathing voice 'just go,'

As Lily closed the front door she raced back up to her room slamming the door behind her she threw herself onto her bed crying more tears than she ever thought were humanely possible. How does a person just stop caring, stop loving her? Lily glanced to her left hand the diamond cluster ring sparkling in her bedroom light, she couldn't stand to look at it couldn't stand to part with it either. Everything Martin was to her was in that ring, that simple little piece of golden coloured metal slipping on her finger. She thumbed it carelessly tears running down her face, she would, could never part with it just like she had never wanted to part from Martin and never thought she would.

But what did forever, a promise, mean to someone who was capable of hurting you this much?

When Lily returned to Hogwarts on September 1st Erin Jackson hugged her so tight she thought she would never let her go. Erin had long wild black hair similar to her Irish mother who was standing on the platform talking to James Potter's mother, Effie Potter in a thick Irish accent.

'Oh Lils, you should've rang me,' Erin said through the thick cream coloured collar of Lily's thick jumper.

'I couldn't Erin, I didn't want to have to think about it, about him anymore,' Lily shrugged, 'I'm still talking to him and-'

'Jesus Lil, you know that's not good for you right,' Erin pointed out, her blue eyes glanced at the clock above their heads on platform 10, it was only 9:30, most witches and wizarding families got to the station early so they could catch up on all the latest news and Erin's mother was no different. Lily was sometimes glad her parents were muggles, she could indefinitely keep the two worlds of her life separate.

'He said we should be friends, and now he's left Hogwarts I won't see him every day will I? He said the geographical distance would make it easier to be friend' Lily defended him.

'What a cock! And you still need to talk to him because?' Erin said slowly tying her hair back with a band

'Lots of reasons,' Lily said quickly

The girls conversation as interjected when a qauffle was thrown in their direction catching Lily sharply on the shoulder. Erin's mother and Effie Potter stopped talking, picking up the qauffle Mrs Jackson studied it and giving a discerning look to Effie Potter said 'I believe this might belong to your son,' as she thumbed over the emblem of a bronzed embroidered stag appearing on the leather.

James Potter appeared with Sirius Black and Remus Lupin in tow not far behind carrying their luggage.

'Sorry mum, thought you would catch that,' James grinned

Effie rolled her eyes at her only son, taking the ball from Mrs Jackson she dropped it into his hands.

'Really Effs?' Mrs Jackson said, checking to see if Lily was alright. Lily had not been injured just shocked when she had been struck.

'She isn't hurt, what's the harm.'

Mrs Jackson turned away and began ushering the girls onto the platform

'That boy,' Mrs Jackson complained as they appeared on platform 9 ¾ '17 nearly 18 and his mother still placates him like a child. Don't you ever bring that boy home to me Erin Jackson, it will be the last you ever see of him,'

'Mum he's not that bad,' Erin said defending him, Lily knew only too well who Erin Jackson wanted to take home to meet her mother.

'Pureblood wizards Erin are not to be trifled with,' Mrs Jackson said curtly, straightening her tartan overcoat. 'Now let me look at you,' she stood back beaming at Lily and Erin with a huge smile on her face, she whipped out her camera and said

'7th year girls!'

The train was an extra carriage shorter this year and everyone was struggling to find spaces to fit in, none more so than Paige Howlett who was looking forward to finding an empty compartment where she would wait patiently for her boyfriend of 14 months, James Potter. He had told her via letter than he had exciting news to share with her.

Finding a nearly half empty compartment Paige snuck herself in, unfortunately one of the occupants happened to be Severus Snape. She grumbled internally to herself knowing that Severus was not known for being the politest or savoury person to be around and being the girlfriend of James Potter she was rather unsure of his reaction. But in fact was quite surprised when Severus smiled at her, motioning to the empty seat opposite him, perhaps he did recall their little adventures in their first year after all. The only other occupant appeared to be a pink haired first year witch wearing her black school robes.

'Lovely summer?' Paige ventured attentively seeing Severus was reading she thought he might not even answer.

'Not bad,' he said curtly and as if remembering his manners 'yours?'

'Fine- bit boring. Home isn't the same as being at Hogwarts is it?'

Severus agreed nodding and returned to his book.

Paige then pushed her bag up onto the luggage rack and she settled herself back down opposite Severus.

The first half of the journey passed with little incident and the second Severus saw James Potter's shadow appear at the compartment door he stiffened, his nostrils flared and he fixed his gaze on the misty window. Before James had managed to slide the door open Paige was on her feet waiting to be hugged by her boyfriend when Lily Evans followed in behind him, a Head Girl badge attached to her robe and a Head Boy badge attached to James' tie Paige's smile left her a little

'Paige, there you are. Come with us, there's a better compartment. Lily wants you to come sit with us, don't you Lils' James said pointedly his eyes flickering towards Severus.

Lily's eyes looked over to Severus who could tell she was there but failed to even acknowledge her presence anymore. Lily nodded enthusiastically at Paige, trying to cover up the fact that Severus' subtle ignorance of her did not bother her.

'James it's only for prefects remember?' Lily pointed out 'sorry Paige, but James you can sit here I'm going back to the Prefects carriage,' and Lily turned away walking down the rest of the train. James eyes lingered after her as she walked away, something that did not go unnoticed by Paige.

James then pulled Paige up by the hand out of the carriage. The first year witch was watching this all unfold with a curious expression on her face, her hair was now a violent shade of purple instead of pink. Severus crossed the compartment and pulled the roller blind down loudly behind them.

Outside of the compartment James pulled Paige to him and kissed her warmly

'I have been waiting since Kings Cross to do that,' he added breaking from her.

'That long,' Paige surmised her arms around his neck 'how did you manage that long?'

'Well, I don't know but' James cooed 'we will have to make up for all the lost time,'

'I take it your news is something to do with that,' Paige said tapping the shiny metal pin badge attached to his red and gold striped tie.

'Hmm it might do,' he said playfully, he wrapped his arms around her waist and leant her against the window so she was viewing the scenery as it blurred past the windows as quick as you saw it. 'Or I might have something else to tell you, Miss Howlett,'

Paige felt him nuzzle her neck and he rested his chin on the arch of her shoulder sniffing in her strawberry scented shampoo. She loved it when he did that.

'I wish this could be forever,' James said holding his girlfriend closely that she couldn't have been closer to him if she tried. The train was rumbling through the countryside, James let Paige's hair entangle itself in his neck a he tucked his hand into hers.

Lily Evans popped her head out of the prefect's compartment and saw further down the train James Potter wrapped around his girlfriend, Paige Howlett, laughing and flirting. Lily's fragile heart felt like it was breaking into a million pieces as she saw James 'eye catch hers he winked at Lily. She put her head back into the prefect compartment and closed her eyes.

'Lils?' Remus asked. His dark tartan robes were being darned by Kirsty who was sat opposite him. He was wearing his Rolling Stones t-shirt and dark trousers he had received from Kirsty as a birthday present, and on his lap was his bright ginger cat, Frida playing with a toy mouse.

'I'm fine Remus,' Lily lied. 'Broken hearts mend, don't they?' she shrugged and flopped back down in her seat. Kirsty gave her a sympathetic look and Remus put his arm round her pulling her into a friendly hug, Frida purred and stretched herself across Lily and Remus' laps.


End file.
